How to give the spouse of a recovering cancer patient a unnecessary heart attack

So far, for me, the worst, worst part about Dan's bi-monthly cancer checks is waiting for the Dr to come into the room...and the first few seconds after he's entered. We sit in the room for 10, 15, 20 minutes waiting. See a shadow on the floor from under the door...and it passes by. Another shadow...the door opens. And in the first 5 seconds we sit there attempting to analyze his every facial expression. If it was bad news, he wouldn't come in smiling. But if he's not smiling, that doesn't necessarily mean bad news. Ahhh! What is he going to say? Is this the time he walks in the door and our world drops out from under us again, or will we be given another 2 month reprieve before doing this dance again?

Today, he comes in and starts asking about how Dan is feeling. Ok, so that doesn't tell me anything. Soon he's asking if we have any fun plans coming up. I always take this as the sign I can start to relax, because who would come in, ask if you had any fun plans only to say: Well sorry about that. You're going to be missing out on those fun plans due to the Cancer coming back. Aren't you glad I asked?

He does a quick physical exam and that is usually it. Today though, he finished the exam and said: When did you do your blood draw? I don't think I've seen those numbers yet. I have to check on something, I'll be right back.

What?!? You mean the tumor marker numbers that are the only test this month to see if Dan is still Cancer free? You know, the whole reason we're here? Those numbers? If you haven't seen "those numbers" yet, why are you in here talking about my fun plans? You don't know that you get to talk about fun plans yet! You haven't seen the numbers!

And then he was gone for 10 minutes.

And I think I stopped breathing.

He pops in "Numbers are perfect! See you in 2 months" and pops back out the door.

I still hadn't recovered from the 10 minutes of the not breathing when we had to go out to schedule the next appointment and Dan is all Yay! Numbers good! 2 more months! Aren't you excited?!?

And I am, SO excited!

It just took me a few minutes to catch my breath.

Hey! Look who was pregnant! - Photoblog 8.26

Not Me!

I think I may only have one picture of myself when I was pregnant with Henry. But I don't think I have many of my pregnancy with Will either...so it's not a second child thing...ANYway.

Kari, that's who was pregnant! In between taking lots of pictures of my own newborn son I got to participate in a couple of baby oriented events with Kari, who was due about 9 weeks after Henry was born. Since clearly I was in a picture taking mood those days, I had a lot of pictures of Kari from those two said events. A Baby shower:



And an impromptu "My nails should look pretty in the Hospital" trip to the Spa:



I know that Kari was somewhat uncomfortable at this point in the pregnancy (I think at this point she was more pregnant that I have ever been since both my boys arrived 5 or so weeks early) but I love these pictures because she is so happy. Every pregnancy is special, but this was a very hard fought/hard earned/hard won (whatever the phrase is) pregnancy. So it was fun for me to be a friend who got to be there with her.

And fun to see what she got to bring home 4 months ago (rest are here:Photoblog 8.26)

Hodge Podge - Photoblog 8.20

Just a mix of stuff from early June. We were busy in June it seems, I had a lot of pictures from June. Will got his first Bike, was in a wedding and got to go on a pirate ship. Well, not really a pirates ship, it was actually an accurate representation of the Nina (of the Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria) but Will had been pretty obsessed with pirates and it was close enough for him.
Here are the faves, rest are here: Photoblog 8.20

Will asleep at the wedding:



Goofy faces from Henry:



Will's Pirate Ship:

On vacation - Photoblog 8.19

So, 'photoblog 8.19' will be more like 'photoblog 8/20' this week because I've been kicking it out in the Mountains for the last couple of days. We're home now, but still feeling that vacation vibe. So I think I am going to shut off the computer or I will find myself answering work emails and doing excel spreadsheets. So tune in tomorrow sometime for a slightly delayed post.

Playing

I've been fooling around in Gimp Shop again, I'm constantly surprised at what a powerful tool it is. I know I am just barely scratching the surface with it. I had the thought that in my copious free time I would start taking tutorials...or at least it might be something more productive to do when insomnia strikes than watch an NCIS marathon. Here's what I tried:

Original:First try, last week

Tonight's attempt