I feel whiny. It's not like I got stranded on an Camel safari, or am starting to teach an AP class for the first time or am moving halfway across the country. I am just working and being a mom, and I am feeling overwhelmed. Right now my work is kind of crazy. And it will be for the next couple of months until this project is over. And honestly, it is really hard being a working mom when work is this stressful. I mean, I know. Duh, right? It's just that someone NEEDS from me, like, 24 hours a day. It's trackers and sippy cups and books and meetings and cubed ham and numbers and nightmare soothing and it is starting to overwhelm me. Christ, trying to decide what I want to eat for breakfast these days overwhelms me.
But the thing is, other than maybe wanting this work stress to dial back a bit, all the things that are causing the overwhelmedness are things that are good. I really have nothing to complain about - I mean, I actually really like my job most of the time, and Little Man and Dan are about the best ever. Hence the feeling whiny...and kind of dramatic. I'm glad to have the long weekend and my trip to MN coming up. I think a little time to regroup with the family this weekend and then a stay at my parent's house where I get to let my mom baby me a little might be just what I need.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Monday, August 21, 2006
I have lived here for 5 years this summer. When Dan and I moved here, I was not too keen on the idea and pouted for about 3 months. I had a similar reaction when I moved from Michigan, where I lived until I was 18, to Minnesota. Another similar result of both of those moves was that due to all the energy I was putting towards pouting I found it really hard to keep in touch with the people that I cared about. In fact I really sucked at it. Dan does not have that problem. He has friends that he has known since a camp he went to during middle school, friends from High School and good friends from College that are scattered throughout the US that he keeps in contact with and some that he visits with on a fairly regular basis. Now we have a wonderfully amazing friends here in town, and I have a few of my people from Minnesota that I still speak/email with on a fairly regular basis, but sometimes I find myself jealous of the friendships he has that have such...history and longevity. One of those people was here in town this weekend. Dan and Matt visit each other about every 3-4 months. I adore Matt and I love that they get together so often.
Saturday morning I decided we were going to have a group outing so I woke them up and dragged their hung-over asses to the farmer's market. There was a summer commencement at the nearby college so it was really busy, but it was one of those perfect summer morning where you know it is going to get really hot in a couple of hours but isn't yet. The market was filled with all the wonderful smells of late summer - heirloom tomatoes, sweet corn and peaches all mixed up with the vendors preparing breakfast burritos and pizza and sausages. We wandered around for a while before Will decided that lying down in the middle of the walkway and crying was way more than, I don't know, ANYTHING else. So we went to a nearby play structure and let him run out some of his energy. While Dan and Will were making trips 10-40 down the slide, Matt and I sat and talked about all the changes that we have seen in our respective lives over the last 6 months. We reminisced about this one night seven or so years ago that we were in some small Mexican restaurant after bar close and talked about how someday we were going to have spouses and families and we would all go visit each other because we were still going to be friends then. And here we are, Matt playing with my son in our living room and trips to the farmer’s market…it’s easy and comfortable and I realized that I don't have to be jealous of Dan - because his people have become mine now too. And he has some pretty fantastic people.
Saturday morning I decided we were going to have a group outing so I woke them up and dragged their hung-over asses to the farmer's market. There was a summer commencement at the nearby college so it was really busy, but it was one of those perfect summer morning where you know it is going to get really hot in a couple of hours but isn't yet. The market was filled with all the wonderful smells of late summer - heirloom tomatoes, sweet corn and peaches all mixed up with the vendors preparing breakfast burritos and pizza and sausages. We wandered around for a while before Will decided that lying down in the middle of the walkway and crying was way more than, I don't know, ANYTHING else. So we went to a nearby play structure and let him run out some of his energy. While Dan and Will were making trips 10-40 down the slide, Matt and I sat and talked about all the changes that we have seen in our respective lives over the last 6 months. We reminisced about this one night seven or so years ago that we were in some small Mexican restaurant after bar close and talked about how someday we were going to have spouses and families and we would all go visit each other because we were still going to be friends then. And here we are, Matt playing with my son in our living room and trips to the farmer’s market…it’s easy and comfortable and I realized that I don't have to be jealous of Dan - because his people have become mine now too. And he has some pretty fantastic people.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Weekly round-up
Wow - it has been a crazy busy week. I keep sitting down to write something and get distracted by the phone ringing or a work email or the Little Man wanting more crack...I mean Elmo. So you will get highlight reel of my week (thank you for the idea Lee!)
1) Will has started stringing 2-3 words together and it is the cutest thing in the world. This generally happens when he wants something and the problem is the I find it so cute I end giving him whatever he wants just because I want to eat him up every time. "One more Elmo?" while holding up his pointer finger...ok. Doesn't matter that it's 8:00 at night and past your bedtime, you are adorable. "Daddy kick ball?" You want to kick the ball to Daddy? Absolutely, I don't care that he is in the shower I will get him out so you can play with him. I realize this novelty will wear off pretty soon and I will get back to putting some limits on his requests but he is so proud of himself right now I just can't help it.
2) A friend of mine had surgery this last week. She is doing very well considering the invasiveness of the procedure, but in truth it kind of intimidates me a little that she is still in so much pain. The procedure is very similar to that of a C-Section and really it was only by luck that I didn't have to have a C-section with Little Man. There is a very good chance that I will have to have one with any future children. And after seeing the pain and movement limitations she has? My childbirth experience seems not so bad - granted I had a great epidural. She has been a real trooper and I continue to be impressed with her positive attitude during all this, 'cause seriously? Ow!
3) I cut Will's hair at the beginning of the week. His hair was getting long enough to put into pig-tails...which I of course kept trying to do and Dan kept getting annoyed with. So, I have mentioned before that Little Man has very little inherent fear regarding things, right? Apparently I have discovered his first true phobia. Hair Cutting. I swear that one day we will find out that he has some freak genetic disorder that has given him nerve cells in his hair because the way he screams when I cut his hair I must be physically harming him. Nothing really compares with the terror that is hair cutting...well except nail cutting. That is a close second. After that? Nothing apparently. Running into the street? No fear. Getting separated from us by 20-30 feet? Doesn't even give a glance back. He'll even grab the scissors and try to stab himself...but cut his hair? It is like the Hellmouth opened up inside my home and the screaming of all the demons have been unleashed upon me. Fantastic.
4) At this very moment Little Man is having his very own Dance party to Cuban music in our living room. I wish I could figure out a way for you to see this because I may explode from loving him and then you would know why.
1) Will has started stringing 2-3 words together and it is the cutest thing in the world. This generally happens when he wants something and the problem is the I find it so cute I end giving him whatever he wants just because I want to eat him up every time. "One more Elmo?" while holding up his pointer finger...ok. Doesn't matter that it's 8:00 at night and past your bedtime, you are adorable. "Daddy kick ball?" You want to kick the ball to Daddy? Absolutely, I don't care that he is in the shower I will get him out so you can play with him. I realize this novelty will wear off pretty soon and I will get back to putting some limits on his requests but he is so proud of himself right now I just can't help it.
2) A friend of mine had surgery this last week. She is doing very well considering the invasiveness of the procedure, but in truth it kind of intimidates me a little that she is still in so much pain. The procedure is very similar to that of a C-Section and really it was only by luck that I didn't have to have a C-section with Little Man. There is a very good chance that I will have to have one with any future children. And after seeing the pain and movement limitations she has? My childbirth experience seems not so bad - granted I had a great epidural. She has been a real trooper and I continue to be impressed with her positive attitude during all this, 'cause seriously? Ow!
3) I cut Will's hair at the beginning of the week. His hair was getting long enough to put into pig-tails...which I of course kept trying to do and Dan kept getting annoyed with. So, I have mentioned before that Little Man has very little inherent fear regarding things, right? Apparently I have discovered his first true phobia. Hair Cutting. I swear that one day we will find out that he has some freak genetic disorder that has given him nerve cells in his hair because the way he screams when I cut his hair I must be physically harming him. Nothing really compares with the terror that is hair cutting...well except nail cutting. That is a close second. After that? Nothing apparently. Running into the street? No fear. Getting separated from us by 20-30 feet? Doesn't even give a glance back. He'll even grab the scissors and try to stab himself...but cut his hair? It is like the Hellmouth opened up inside my home and the screaming of all the demons have been unleashed upon me. Fantastic.
4) At this very moment Little Man is having his very own Dance party to Cuban music in our living room. I wish I could figure out a way for you to see this because I may explode from loving him and then you would know why.
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