How to Charm me...

Lead the charge in getting our crack house clean enough for company that I invited over (floors mopped and everything!) and watch American Idol with me.

Confessions

Ok internet. I have been harboring a secret.

If you are related to us, you should probably stop reading this now.

Will is 18 months old and still does not sleep in his crib all night.

That's right, despite what our families may think, we still bring him in to the Pack and Play when I go to bed...every, single night. And we do this because I cannot bear the thought of having him sleep so far away from me.

He doesn't wake up in the middle of the night...hell, he doesn't even wake up when his father carefully moves him, his two blankets and doggie into our room 3 hours after he has gone to bed in his very own crib. It is all us, we are the reason he does not sleep in his crib all night.

I'm sorry, I just can't bring myself to do it. I love how he wakes me up by tapping my arm and saying "Hi!" until I open my eyes...and that moment that he sees my eyes open? His face is filled with such joy and I get this huge smile like I have just given him the best present ever. I mean seriously, this kind of shit does not last long with kids. How am I supposed to give up getting that amazing of a look from my child just for waking up?

And every morning we all spend at least 20 minutes hanging out in bed. When I pick him up he goes straight for daddy to make sure he is awake too and then we all sit and cuddle and stay in that fantastic state of half sleep together. I am convinced this would not happen if he was sleeping in the other room, because he would wake up too much before we got him into bed with us. Seriously, I have to give this up?

I know I do...I mean, while it isn't affecting...you know, things...now, I really don't want a five year old still sleeping in our room. I know this works for some people, but it's just not us. We are thinking once Dan gets back we will make the big move...because there is no way I am trying that while he is gone. It makes me sad to think about though. This time is so fleeting, it's such a small fraction of an entire life. And as excited as I am about all the things that are to come for this little man, and for our family, I am a little heartbroken to leave this stage.

I read somewhere once that instead of the question "if you could go to any place where would you go?" a more interesting question would be " If you could go to any time, where would you go?"

I think I would come back here.

Hats

My son is currently obsessed with hats. Both real hats and anything he can balance on his head and call a hat. I blame Kari - she started this all with some balancing blocks on your head game when Will was about 6 months old. Every single time she comes over, he goes over to his fabric blocks and tries to reach up to put one on her head.

In the bathtub he has a plastic goldfish that he balances on his head, makes a fish face and then says "hat" over and over again until you commend him on his word usage, "That's right Will, Hat". He also has a set of plastic bowls that he likes to wear as hats...He also likes to chase his parents around yelling "Hat, hat!" until we put the bowl on our heads as a hat too.

My favorite though is a game his father made up called, appropriately, the Hat Game. This is where Will puts his winter hat on top of your head and you talk in a silly voice until he takes it off again. This cycle is repeated about 100 times before he tires of it. I realize, this doesn't really translate very well into the Blogosphere. You will have to trust me though, there is really nothing funnier (or more touching) than hearing your husband say "Oh my goodness, this hat is the best. I love this hat so much, it is just the greatest!" in a high falsetto about 100 times a day just to make his little boy erupt into fits of laughter.

Monthly Newsletter - 18 months

Dear Will

Today you turn 18 months old. Your mother, as I am sure you are aware, is a total sap about such things. There is a blog that I read pretty regularly (because the writer is the coolest woman ever) and was inspired by the monthly letters she writes to her daughter. So my dear boy, you will get letters to read someday too.

Your Grandpa Jay says that we should be writing down all of your “Will-isms” now, because such memories fade with time. Part of me thinks that possibly can’t be true…I mean how could I ever forget your fantastic lion sounds or the way you say “guck” for the word truck or your slick ninja moves that even come accompanied with their own sound effects (oooh-WAAAH). But then I realize that I can’t remember how old you were when you cut your first tooth and I know that he is right. In my defense, I have a terrible head for dates – your father is lucky I ever remember his birthday. So, I am hoping that by writing you these letters, I will never forget these things. Also, in case you someday forget that you ever had a childhood, I can whip these out and prove it to you.

This last month has been so wonderful with you. I am amazed daily at the things you are learning and mastering. Your school must be a wonderful place because half the stuff that comes out of your mouth sure wasn’t taught to you by us. I was changing your diaper the other day and you pointed up at the dots hung on the wall (Applied in a fantastically random pattern by your Nana, the World’s Best Organizer) and said “Gircle” clear as day. I assume that was to mean circle as you are currently replacing the first letter of every word with the letter “G”. I said, “Yes Will, that’s right. A Circle.” And you gave me to broadest, most proud of yourself smile I have ever seen. After I got over my initial shock, I thought to myself this kid is a freakin’ genius and we have nothing to do with.

And oh, you are a determined child. This month, you mastered climbing down the stairs at your Grandpa Jay and Grandma Ann’s in one afternoon. You know how you did this? Sheer force of will. You had two trouble spots that you went over, and over…and over, until you could walk down the stairs all by yourself. And when your father came to pick you up, you proudly showed him what you had worked on all afternoon. I have no idea where you get this sense of patience for challenging tasks, because it was certainly not from your parents. If this is a personality trait of yours that sticks, we will drive you crazy when you are older.

You continue breaking my heart in wonderful little ways. In the morning, when we bring you into to our bed for cuddle time you will lay across your father and I and sing us songs and tell us tales from your nighttime adventures. You must have water from my water bottle on the nightstand before the cuddling can begin. This is not an option. Last week you were sitting in between your father and I and reached your arms out to me and said “hug?” Yep, that didn’t suck at all.

One more thing that your father and I have noticed is that you have a fantastic sense of humor. You laugh harder and more often that any other child we have ever known. And you are starting to make your own little jokes. Like when we ask you what a cow says and you reply “Quack”…and then start to laugh. Or my personal favorite, when I ask you if you can say mama and you reply by yelling “DADA!” at the top of your lungs. Totally my favorite.

This month, one of my favorite things that we did was go to the Beach House with your Grandpa Jay and Grandma Ann. Your father and I love the beach so much that it is almost impossible to put into words. I am now positive that you do as well. It was a very cold and somewhat stormy weekend, but on Sunday the sun came out and we bundled you up for your first beach walk where you could move of your own volition. As soon as you hit the sand, you were off. You headed straight for the water as if a magnet were drawing you towards it. And you walked straight in; with a look in those huge blue eyes of yours that was the closest thing to pure joy I have ever seen. And no fear. No fear of the cold or the roaring waves or the newness of it all. Your father prevented you from soaking yourself and for the next ½ hour it was everything the four of us could do to keep you from running in again. And that, my little prince, is so very you. I sometimes joke that I wish you had a little more “healthy fear” of things that can hurt you. In reality, as you grow up, my wish for you is that I always see pure joy and a lack of fear in your eyes the way I did that day.



Love,
Mom

I have the best friends...

So, I have the best friends ever. Seriously, they are awesome

In case anyone was not aware, Dan was out of town for the weekend enjoying his drunken self in San Francisco. That meant I would be home by myself with Little Man. I hate being home alone. I mean hate. Not in that "Oh, I'm not too fond of this, I kinda wish I wasn't home alone" kind of hate, more like the "Oh my God I am sure someone has broken into our house and is waiting in a closet for me to go to bed so they can kill me. I must leave on all the lights and never sleep so I can make sure that I can lock the baby and I in the bathroom and panic dial the police at the slightest noise." kind of hate.

I have hated staying home alone ever since college when, within a 6 month time span: my parents house was broken into while I was upstairs; there was a serial rapist stalking women in the neighborhood; and someone thought it would be a funny prank to leave creepy notes under my door at my first apartment. I think I come by it righteously.

So, back to my best friends ever.

They take such good care of me when my husband leaves for these trips. On Friday night, one of my friends came over with a girly movie, a bottle of wine and a pizza. Helped me put the baby to bed and stayed until 11:30 so I wouldn't worry all evening.

And then Saturday night, I met up with another friend and we walked down to a community thing with the baby. It was a theater opening for an area of town that is currently experiencing a revitalization of sorts. She ended up getting interviewed while holding Little Man and they put them both on the news that night. Afterward, we came back to the house ordered Thai food and watched yet another girly movie. She spent the night so I wouldn't have a panic attack, and even went down into my basement to turn the heat back on so I didn't have to.

I realize that at some point in the next month or so, I am going to have to come to terms with being in my house by myself. With Dan leaving for 5 weeks I am not going to be able have my friends hold my hand in the same way. The security system getting installed soon should definitely help, but knowing that I have such an amazing support base of wonderful friends and family here is what is going to help the most.

- em

Test Run

So, with Dan out of town for the first of the two trips this spring I thought it best to get this started. This is mainly going to be a place for Dan to see what is going on here and for me to hear about what is going on with him while he is in training...but we'll probably give the link to some of our family and friends who are not lucky enough to live with us in p-town to keep them updated as well.

Dan gets back from San Fran tonight where he has been visiting a good friend from college. While I am admittedly envious of their quarterly visits, I love that he has such good friends and that he gets a chance to spend time with them in such a cool way. He takes really good care of us here and works so hard at his job that I think it's good that he gets some time away to just be.

But man, do I miss him when he is gone...and not just because it means I have to do all the dishes.