Milestones

Just for a little background. I was born with a congenital hip disorder. Before I turned 1 Doctors took all sorts of extraordinary measures including traction and surgery to hopefully allow me the possibility of walking. It worked well and I walked, and ran and danced and did all the things that a kid with "normal" joints can do. At first, they told my parents that by the time I was 16 I would need to have my entire hip replaced. At 16 I was performing in a show choir and doing musicals and the only problem that seemed evident was that my knee would get a little bit sore and I really wasn't very flexible (I only have about 10% lateral movement in my hip due to the surgery). Then they said I would probably need it replaced in my early 20's. I entered my 20's and was soon working retail (on my feet all day), was waitressing and bartending. Again, I would get a little stiff in the joints but it wasn't something I really thought about every day. Honestly, I think I got a little cocky about it all and didn't take very good care. I mean I knew that things were not really all ok in my hip, but I don't think I KNEW how much I was working that joint on borrowed time.

At 23 my hip started dislocating and within a year the arthritis had deteriorated my hip to the point that I could not leave the house without using a cane. I could barely go grocery shopping without the pain setting me out for the rest of the day. There was daily, chronic, pain and then there was the kind of pain that made me feel like I was 80 and my body had completely given out on me. I couldn't even tie my shoes on my own.

I went in to see a specialist who was...cold. Now, I am not looking to make lifelong friends with my Doctors, but this guy was tough. He told me if I wanted to have children I should think about doing it before they replaced my hip. He also told me that there wasn't anything to be done except to replace it and that I would never be normal again. And to come back when I couldn't handle the pain any more. Now again, I am not trying to run a marathon here folks, I just wanted to tie my shoes and buy milk. So I asked if I could go to Physical Therapy...he said if it would make me feel better, sure but it wouldn't do really any good. Thanks, thank you for that.

One thing that terrified me about having children is the age that Will is at now, and my lack of ability to keep up physically. There were things I wanted to do as a parent that I would not be able to do if I couldn't walk through Target without having to get off my feet for a couple of hours afterwards. If there was nothing to be done than there was nothing to be done...it's not like it was going to make me any less of parent if I couldn't do those things. But I just didn't think that I had exhausted ALL of my options yet, and I really wanted to keep working on this.

So I went to Physical Therapy, and I worked my ass off for two years.

The arthritis in my hip is worse than it was 5 years ago. It will continue to deteriorate and I will need to have my hip replaced at some point in the future. I am in pain every day. But thanks to that physical therapy, the pain is less and I am not a candidate for surgery at this time. I have not used a cane in almost 5 years. I can tie my shoes without help, and go to as many grocery stores in a day as I want. I have dance parties with my son and can carry him through the zoo...all things I was worried I would not be able to do at this point.

And a couple of weekends ago, with a bunch of our friends, Dan took Will and I on our first camping trip . We went for long walks in the woods and threw rocks in the river together. It was awesome and we both loved it. These may seem like little things, but it feels like a milestone to me.