How to give the spouse of a recovering cancer patient a unnecessary heart attack

So far, for me, the worst, worst part about Dan's bi-monthly cancer checks is waiting for the Dr to come into the room...and the first few seconds after he's entered. We sit in the room for 10, 15, 20 minutes waiting. See a shadow on the floor from under the door...and it passes by. Another shadow...the door opens. And in the first 5 seconds we sit there attempting to analyze his every facial expression. If it was bad news, he wouldn't come in smiling. But if he's not smiling, that doesn't necessarily mean bad news. Ahhh! What is he going to say? Is this the time he walks in the door and our world drops out from under us again, or will we be given another 2 month reprieve before doing this dance again?

Today, he comes in and starts asking about how Dan is feeling. Ok, so that doesn't tell me anything. Soon he's asking if we have any fun plans coming up. I always take this as the sign I can start to relax, because who would come in, ask if you had any fun plans only to say: Well sorry about that. You're going to be missing out on those fun plans due to the Cancer coming back. Aren't you glad I asked?

He does a quick physical exam and that is usually it. Today though, he finished the exam and said: When did you do your blood draw? I don't think I've seen those numbers yet. I have to check on something, I'll be right back.

What?!? You mean the tumor marker numbers that are the only test this month to see if Dan is still Cancer free? You know, the whole reason we're here? Those numbers? If you haven't seen "those numbers" yet, why are you in here talking about my fun plans? You don't know that you get to talk about fun plans yet! You haven't seen the numbers!

And then he was gone for 10 minutes.

And I think I stopped breathing.

He pops in "Numbers are perfect! See you in 2 months" and pops back out the door.

I still hadn't recovered from the 10 minutes of the not breathing when we had to go out to schedule the next appointment and Dan is all Yay! Numbers good! 2 more months! Aren't you excited?!?

And I am, SO excited!

It just took me a few minutes to catch my breath.